Sunday, September 29, 2019

This Last Year in review

So I am super staunch in always convincing myself that the New Year is in December when we come upon the Jewish New Year and basically just running away from looking back over what was the past of any time. So now I'm combining my year in university with the Jewish New Year and looking back at all the things I've learned and experienced into a list cuz I like lists.


  1. Finding and living my authentic self is the hardest journey with the most rewarding views, along the ever-changing path of life.
  2. Finding your north star changes through the storms but is always there.
  3. Identity evolves. The question is are you listening and willing to evolve or are you going to try and lock up the evolution.
  4. Fine is my "cop-out" word for saying something is wrong. When that is the mantra running through my head I'm heading down the wrong path.
  5. Feeling and processing pain is the only way to find an equilibrium of honesty in yourself.
  6. The fear of emotional pain is worse than the emotional pain, as the fear never ends and the pain does.
  7. Failure is rather healing, as hitting rock bottom removes the fear of hitting rock bottom.
  8. The balancing act is impossible if you give yourself no place to drop a ball you're juggling, after learning that all the balls cycle through you can focus on the ones you are holding at that time.
  9. Society's perception of health is engrained deeper than you think, and your own family pressures don't help. The stigma of Mental hospitals and wards depicted in society's movies and such, makes it harder to believe and trust that they are a place of healing, when in fact they are just another ward, like the neurological ward.
  10. Psychiatric medication isn't the devil, rather it gives you chemicals you are lacking in your brain that help you live your best self.
  11. The shame pushed on you by others and society stems from fear, breaking that cycle within yourself does not mean the rest of the world has moved on with you.
  12. Secrets rot, no matter how well you think you have packaged them away in the recesses of your brain are still there and only once you process and heal can you move forward.
  13. A healthy amount of pressure creates diamonds of success after the pressure cleans off failures and misconceptions.
  14. Tempering myself to the extent of losing my inner compass kills me, and doesn't help me fit in with those around me.
  15. Learning to put blinders on the idea of comparison to other people's perceived success, or even their own success leaves you way more energy to focus on your own path. 
  16. The more you learn to give yourself patience, gives you more patience to build relationships with others.
  17. When driven by fear you end of in scarier places.
  18. The people looking for perfection are the ones not moving forward.
  19. The people who don't understand your honesty are usually afraid of not living their own.
  20. You can have many different facets at any time and they are all valid.
Here is to a new year filled with growth, happiness, and reaching new goals

2 comments:

  1. Good list-- especially #6! The journalism major in me has to comment that #9 is not a cohesive thought-- make it clearer so readers will understand it better. You are doing deep and meaningful work, Gorgeous. Ko ha kavod!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for the great feedback I have updated it with more explanation.

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