Bouncing from Binging to Balance

The illusion of control,or the lack of control starts a tornado of complicated thoughts racing through at lightning speed. Your mind turns on you feeds you lies  "you will never be beautiful, you're distorted anyway", "you think you control your body-your body controls you". Hands move at a frantic pace filling the black hole trying to silence the voices. Justification is the next phase when you reach the end of the black hole and your head smashes against the black stone, thoughts reverberate bouncing, distorting in mid air. Trying to rearrange smokescreens into the logic that makes sense in the darkness, yet as you start to rise the web of lies comes to be seen for what it is. Pulling at shreds trying to reach the illusion of light up above. Then the climb to reach a balanced state comes. Trying to reign your thoughts in to control them on a shorter ropes. Taunt lines sweat drips down making the marble slippery and hard to grasp onto. Bouncing back-is never really a bounce rather a slow murderous climb through your mind and soul back to balance