Love-Hate Limb Relationship

Does anyone else hate their legs sometime? Or maybe their arms?
Daily, sometimes even hourly I fall in love with my hands-if they let me go on a writing spree, letting me write out my mind.  Yet as fast as that feeling appeared it can disappear and hate can rise as I won't be able to finish what I was writing due to my arm losing sensation, or rising pain I can't block out or control. It feels like your body turns on you without letting you know. There is no memo from my brain saying, I've had enough and need a break from doing my job. BTW brain-that would be super appreciated. Just give me like a 30-minute heads up so I can cancel the rest of my day and not get to the tennis club and then have to cancel practice. Then sometimes I wake up and shake my arms and legs and smile "It feels like a good day-lets hope it lasts." It is always this play on optimism and realism where you want to hope for the best and achieve as much as possible from the never ending to do list, but also don't want to push past that imaginary line that will flip into paralyzing pain. Which leads to a lack of trust in your body and limbs. Many people ask why do I use my wheelchair when I have the ability to walk, which is true. Although I am not always in control of that and how my body works and responds.It is a complicated relationship full of give and take, love and hate relationship with my limbs.

Taxi Driver Rants: Take care of yourself!

Taxi drivers in Israel have a funny way of reading your mind,and telling you what you need to hear-even if you don't want to hear it. This time it was one of my taxi drivers who I've known for a long time after driving me back from one of my friends wedding in Kfar Chabad a few years back. He picks me up periodically,as taxi drivers are totally the luck of the draw. I was having a hard time getting out of my chair and he was like " You need to take care of yourself,and care about yourself." I rolled my eyes hearing the repetitive mantra yet again. He noticed and replied "Your body may seem like it doesn't like you, but you have to love your body for it to like you." Boom,mike drop. I love how some taxi drivers know exactly what you need to hear when you really don't want to hear it.

Hitlers hellacious mission-my response

I was in Berlin last week on vacation. I took the time to go quite a few museums, two I want to speak about this time were the Jewish Museum and the Topography of Terror. These museums were both about the Holocaust and the horrors that occurred. They both came at it with a lot of information but shared in different manners.
 The Jewish Museum was created in a fashion that the architecture breeds into you as you walk up and down the hills and dimly lit halls, the pain, and confusion that the Jews went through. As the name suggests this only shows the stories of Jewish people during the holocaust, sharing mementos and photos in shadowed holes in the wall. The stories and the mementos were left alone for you to feel the stories of each individual person's life.
The Topography of Terror was completely different. Firstly when you come in, there is a stuffy feeling of information, it is shared in a maze like turns of posters from the ceilings with lots of pictures and information. It is shared from a straight German perspective and not from any religious or singular groups perspective. It doesn't spare you or your feelings, giving very straightforward details about the horrors that went down. They have an incredible 3-D diorama (if they still call them that) of all the buildings in Berlin and how the SS took them over. You do a lot of reading, and learning as much as I thought I had already known about the Holocaust growing up in a religious Jewish system. I learned about other marginalized groups that were also terrorized, it gave me a lot to think about and left me with lots of conflicting thoughts and feelings.
 This is one of my main feelings and responses to the hell that hitler ran.
Eradicating senses of self, was your main idea. Making people easier to kill, when you've broken their souls. Shave their heads, take their clothes jewelry and food. Make them work hard enough to forget where they came from and where they are trying to go. The ones that had a stronger soul-kill first to shatter the others. Silence their heart with black gasses and boots. You destroyed their souls.
So hitler, I'll strengthen my soul, and sense of self. I'll grow my hair long and make myself feel powerful and beautiful as a disabled Jewish woman. My people survived.