I'm finally posting as a pat on my back tonight. After actually using the tools that I have chosen to help myself I see long-term changes that make me happy. Firstly, I think, I'm a week through prep exams for the psychometri. Which means every day sitting for 4 hours doing practice exams then, the harder part of checking how well I did and what my score is. Breaking down into parts what I'm proud of myself for tonight.
1. I'm proud of training my mind to be able to focus just on the task at hand. Each individual problem on paper, and in life and not let myself get overwhelmed and frozen.
2, I'm proud of realizing my fear of failure and letting myself down. As well as the pressure that I put on myself to succeed to get into college. Then, removing that pressure (mostly), from checking the exams, and leaving numbers as numbers, not my entire future.
3, Not using my disability as an excuse to why I don't feel well on a variety of days. Leaving the reasons and just working with what I've got that day.
4. Being able to read an email from a family member which I love but usually feel super pressurized by. I realized and accepted that what was being said was from love and was able to respond without getting upset and worked up.
Now 4 hours after a tough exam, I actually feel calm. Even though my travel plans got complicated last moment, and I'm super tired, having a hard time sleeping. Just keep going, get help and find tools that work for you and keep going. Realize and take the time to pat yourself on the back. It makes the rest of your day better and builds up a healthy relationship with yourself.
Till next time
Sam
