Fast Falling Lows

The lows. As much as you know they are coming as you enjoy the high, they somehow still manage to hit me like a ton of bricks. The lows manage to cut off my anchors to basic joy and make everything feel bleak again. It doesn't matter that I knew at some point they were going to shut down my party of happiness and inner calm, what surprised me was where they came from. The lows hide in the family, but more so for me, they hide in people doing things, basic things like going out to meet up and planning a quick getaway with friends. Even though I had a productive week, and have a somewhat busy week ahead the monster claiming you aren't doing enough, and your not worthy of friends comes raging back to the surface. The lows know how to tell you all the things that make doing anything in life seem not worth it, even sleeping. Low creates this zone in between zombie and alive, its when you can binge watch lots of television but not remember a single thing you've seen. It will make sleep seem like the worst thing in the world as why would you want a tomorrow?? The lows are writing this themselves, you'd think they'd want better representation but they seem to enjoy the sorrows.

Listening to the Voices

Not all voices are bad, some are like street signs in life, evaluate and continue on. Not all voices in your head are bad. Sometimes the voice that tells you "it's too much, your overwhelmed" is a helpful voice. Finding the voice, and distinguishing it from the sick voice can be hard. Sometimes the thought can be processed on your own and sometimes bouncing it off a friend helps clarify the voice. The first urge is to get rid of the uncomfortable voice, as it makes you feel like your drowning in quicksand. Once you allow yourself to be swallowed in deep enough in the sticky brown sand; then you start the process and actually work through the uncomfortable feeling. Rather than running away, the panic sent by the sick voice actually starts to subside. Then the voice takes you on a journey you don't think you can survive; the lack of air in the tunnel of quicksand starts a spiral of panic. A voice shouts survival dreams reverberating through the darkness, Bouncing off the glacial tears freezing on my face. The dreams look like fireflies of fairy lights creating a map out to the mountain range of dreams. The voices are options to reroute and find your way back to your trail of truth in life.