Balancing Listening and Self Hate

I hate listening to my body. Living with cerebral palsy and chronic pain, you cant always listen to your body if you want to get things done, or just like have a daily routine. The problem is when  I get under the weather, I like to just power through until I get super sick and then I'm out for way too long . I got under the weather this past weekend when I stayed out too late listening to a friend, on top of just dysfunctional body issues. So for once, I listened to my body and slept more and actually took days off from working out. This created the feeling of failure, as I have been on this consist workout routine, with the point being to do the same workout for 100 days. Now my mind took this and decided that it had to be every day for 100 days, which was good for some points, it meant when I was on vacation in London I still made sure to do the same workout every day all weekend. The second side of this coin though was not wanting to give myself the time I need to heal when I'm just a little under the weather rather than waiting till I'm completely out cold. The problem is that the feelings of guilt, self-hate, a lack of consistency and inability to follow through on a routine, these thoughts rise up and overwhelm my mind entirely. This stronghold on my brain makes it harder as then it continues making excuses convincing me my body isn't well enough to work out for a variety of reasons, breaking through these reasons are harder than just getting up and working out. This can very easily derail the entire process of already working out the same workout for 26 days. Picking myself back up and controlling my mind while balancing my body is hard, but the feeling after the workout makes it worth it. Not the physical spasms and sweat, rather the feeling of owning my mind for that short time.