The stratosphere of emotions

One day you have a really good day, getting stuff done feeling good about what you have accomplished sometimes i forget the demon that's lurking in the shadows of darkness that never really goes away he gives you a break sometimes, even making sure you feel so good you forget--you forget it comes at a price of the next day, when fog blankets your mind and nothing exists not the bridge you were standing on before not the calendar full of responsibilities, although nothing seems to exist except the magnetic pull to your bed and darkness. People around you get confused--but you were fine yesterday??Yea but being fine one day far from promises the next. Sometimes you almost wish every day was the same so you wouldn't have to play detective with yourself day in and out to see where in stratosphere your mind villains are at.

Listening to Silent Soul Tugs

Do you ever get that pull of something that won't leave your mind? Something that has no inherent connection to you, yet you are inherently upset and won't let others sway you on what you think. I call these Soul Tugs. I used to just call myself crazy and get upset that I cared so much and would try to walk as far away as possible, yet that would lead to me feeling worse about myself and feeling lost.Lately I've been trying to work on myself and listening to the compass of feelings- my soul. While to the outside world these changes cannot be measured in changes of dress of what they precieve as change leading to a feeling of being on my own.
It is actually quite calming becuase the intensity of feelings of an event that seemingly has nothing to do with me-like an ex NFL player commiting suicide in prison,yet the intensity in which I felt I had to defend his honor and respect as a person,even though he made a bad choice and a very wrong one in killing another man,for people to be rejoicing in the fact that he got to the feeling of no return has to be a very hard and complex decision.Feeling as though I wish I could know what was going through his mind at the time and leading up to that decision,led me to the realization that I would like to work in prisons and hear these peoples stories,as every action that people take-unless you are a certified insane serial killer it has a reason,whether that reason justifies the action is not always there,there is always much more to the picture than what meets the eye.
So while there will be many more tugs,sharing them with myself and others has helped me right my compass.