I didn't realize that for a while now I have been shooting myself in the foot with my fitness journey. People ask me what I'm up to sport wise and I have always answered that I'm getting back to it. I realized my mental block was not the fitness aspect rather the fact that I kept telling myself I was going to get back to a previous physical state. My mind and physical reality then made me give up before I even started as I felt getting back to competitive rowing was an impossible dream for a variety of factors.
I need to create a new path with new goals and different aspirations, finding a healthy balance between body image, health, fitness, sport, and all around balance in my life with work and college. Super simple right, I wish. Finding new goals and breaking them down into step by step actions to reach a new healthy place in my body is what I'm starting with first. While this is far from the end and where I want to be physically, working on mentally saying where am I heading on this new fitness journey rather than trying to get back to a vision of grandeur that I remember myself being, walk a new path and create an actual healthy future without it being tied into the Paralympics.
Goals and competitiveness don't have to equal Paralympics there are many opportunities in between that I can find and create. The most important goal I have right now is to get into a healthy state of being both my body and mind and from there I'll see.
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