Falling feelings like a Failing

I hate falling. Not mentally falling, but physically crashing to the ground. I hate when my legs collapse without letting my brain know beforehand so I can prepare and not try to stand up and walk at that exact moment. Yes, I have the privilege of being able to stand up and walk short distances and I know that it is a privilege that not everyone has. That being said my disability and functional sometimes legs don't usually give me a warning when they like to take a break while on duty. The issue becomes that my first thought and feeling when I fall is a failure which leads to an extreme feeling of anger at myself. The anger is automatic, I feel it before I allow myself to feel the physical pain of hurting myself during the fall. I hate the feeling that is underlying the anger, the lack of control that rears its ugly head every time my body does something without me telling it to, or giving me a signal before. It is one of my biggest struggles with my disability, the lack of stability in my body,but more importantly the lack of me having any preemptive knowledge of how my body is going to react to trying to get out of chair, standing up or bending down to pick things up, or grasping a glass to drink,amongst many of the daily tasks. The lack of control in the specific moment of the fall is large but it isn't necessarily the worst thing to happen.  The problem is the shame and anger combine into an almost lethal amount of self-hate, and the desire to be in control of the pain dished out to my body. This usually leads to a confrontation between me and the person asking if I need help,as I am not angry at them,rather my body,but in that moment I do not have the emotional capacity to explain that to the person trying to help me. Figuring this out is helpful for me but I have yet to be able to take this understanding and turn it into practice when I fall.