Self Made Thought Blocks

My mind creates its own thought blocks. It puts up blocks against passions, dreams, an ability to feel and process what is going on. I only realized this when I was on three hours of sleep and was able to just speak my mind to my psychologist and dietician without my anxious mind stopping me from saying what I actually felt and thought. This feeling scared me as I realized how much my mind is able to hide from me during my day to day when I am trying to function on more than three hours of sleep. I'm glad I figured out that I am hiding from myself, although it sucks to know I can do that to myself, hiding dreams, issues, and thoughts. Writing this I feel crazy saying that I don't know all the thoughts running through my head, but knowing how messy and confusing my mind is, makes it a bit less upsetting. Understanding my creation of blocks can give me the opportunity to try to figure out what the blocks are being put up in front of, and how to start moving them individually. Just thinking about it as I am writing now in the middle of the night, one of the main blocks that has been coming up for me lately is blocking any idea of dreaming about I want to do in my life, instead of dreaming big which I used to do. I have somehow blocked my dreams and ability to think about new ones. Part of that is my large fear of failure, leading from an unhealthy obsession with perfection (that I'll leave for another blog post). Thought blocks come partially from my anxiety, that isn't a good reason to leave them be. Time to sit inside my mind and make some order.