Who wakes up in the morning speaking to themselves?
As you wake up moving like a marionette doll not feeling your body as your own. Moving is like walking through land minds not wanting to set your joints off. Usually, this leads to hating my joints and limbs and wishing them gone. Which then leads to a disturbing amount of self-hate, and wishing my limbs would up and walk off and replace themselves.
After starting to understand how much this sentiment was hurting my mind and body. I started trying to compartmentalize my feelings of hate and instead work on accepting my body with its many limitations, though different most hours of every day. While the automatic is still self-depreciation and hate now at least I am able to recognize the tendencies and try to stop myself and replace the harming words with accepting words instead. While these are super small steps each one is oiling a nail on the marionette helping the machine work better leading to self-love.
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