Running out of Meds

There is constant pressure when you take medications to constantly refill the weekly container. Being my ADD self I usually have boxes of my meds in both places I live ,so I never actually think or believe I'm going to run out of meds. Then the impossible happens ,there is a combination of reactions. First off panic from not having the meds to stay on schedule. Then the other side of my brain kicks in and says don't worry your fine, you don't need meds to function. The realist in me claws its way to the microphone yelling at me to message the doctor. Calm and logic don't stick around long. Anxiety drags all the worries back front and center, throwing complicated thoughts all over the clean space. that its way to late you haven't taken your meds for two days it's over you messed up and will never be able to fix it. The side effects will mess you up more than its helping you. Then anxiety drops the big one how could you mess up?? Is your life not important to you?? This always hits a super deep place of trying to reach a strong level of self-care and self-love. This rocks the foundation of caring and loving myself. Once realized then I try to remove some of the anxiety and shame for caring about myself . Even if it's not perfect all the time. Taking care of yourself doesn't fit this elusive version of perfection your mind perceives. So thanks reality for making me evaluate a much deeper aspect of myself. Even when it just looks like a simple empty pill container.